Mathematics test

 

My senior year is not one of the best times of my life. Even though it was my best academic year, I had many health complications. This was because of the stress and pressure I put on myself. This caused me to have no energy or desire to study for a long time. I was able to identify the problem at the end of the year, when I had to take my last math exam. That day I realized how little I was enjoying studying.

I really hate math. I'm not bad at it, I actually understand the subject very well. However, it is very complex and stressful for me. In the last week of the school year, the teacher said we had to study for a test. At that time, I felt very anxious. I spent the next two days studying integrals without a break. I also felt a lot of fear and worry. Fear because the teacher of that subject intimidated me, so I knew the test would be very difficult. On the other hand, I was worried about my final grade. I reviewed day and night. At times, I felt proud of myself for beginning to understand the subject. However, the nerves were always there. I even dreamed about the test in my sleep. That was horrible, because in the dream the teacher scolded me.

The test was due at 5:00 pm so I was already in the zoom waiting room at 4:50 pm. It was only 10 minutes before the exam and I was feeling very tired. I had not slept well and my nerves were not helping my worries. I was even sleepy at that point.

It was one of the worst experiences I have ever had as a student. When I started the exam I was exhausted. I saw the questions and I knew what I had to do. However, my brain was not processing anything. Even my hand was shaking as I was writing down some numbers. It was really frustrating because it was like having the answer but not being able to write it down. I did my best. But obviously the results were not even good. I got 23/100. I wanted to cry but I preferred to go to sleep because it was really tiring.

From this experience, I understood that I should be more relaxed and less strict with myself. I realized that I stress myself a lot because I always expect to be the best in everything. Which has affected me a lot because it is not always going to be like that. That is why I spent my last school year with medication, because stress affected my health a lot. Therefore, when I finished high school I promised myself that I would not do the same in college. I really need to be more patient and understanding with myself, and not demand so much of myself.

Finally, when you are a student you often think that a grade defines you. Which is not true. Everyone has a different intelligence. Therefore, we should not put so much pressure on ourselves for good averages all the time. Especially if it affects other important parts of your life.